Written by Izibele Maloyi
Male abuse is a real, serious thing that needs urgent attention. Society is linear in their approach to things: if it does not look probable, then it is not so.
For a lot of people, it is not probable that a man can succumb to emotional abuse. But the truth of the matter is that, some women out there are vicious towards boys and older men, and what’s saddening is that they do not realise their evils.
I’ve seen countless stories on social media about the heart-breaking ill treatment of men. Just a day ago a friend showed me a snapshot of a SMS communication between two parents, where the mother was explaining in detail how she was going to break the father’s relationship with his child. Why? Money, of course!
She told the father the child misses him, but he should send money to her so she can ‘bring’ the child, while the father was saying he was ready to drive up to fetch the child. She also told the guy that if he wants to speak to his child on her phone, he must send money for airtime.
I know what you’re thinking - why am I choosing to believe and take to heart what’s on social media? Well, if I do not, I am ignorantly laughing at the progression of journalism. Secondly, social media is where people share everything concerning their lives, so it absolutely is a great source of inspiration and news.
As a man myself, I know how easy it can be to just assume that “men are strong”, that “they can handle anything and everything,” when in actuality, their souls are crying.
How many father-and-child relationships have been crushed by the mother’s very own selfish and vengeful decisions? How many fathers have to seek legal action just to visit their children? Telling him he is inadequate or useless only because he does not have a job; hitting him while maintaining that every guy must choose and deal with their hlanyos (crazy woman) – all constitute abuse. Just because he chooses to not hit back (as he shouldn’t) does not okay you hitting and shouting in his face.
As adults, we have to be respectful and considerate. Simply because you do not see it, does not mean that there aren’t any long term repercussions that come with your abuse.
As much as we advocate for the respect and fair treatment of women in our society, we need to also remember the man. Yes, it is true that the world has been unwelcoming to women for years. However, if we are to change that, we need to work on bringing back dignity to the male beings. You’re not doing yourself or anyone a favour by being a toxic person. They say “behind every great man is an amazing woman,” but I see they forgot to describe that woman.
There is a good person in everyone; the world would be a much better place if we walked through life everyday as the best versions of ourselves
* Cover image: themindsjournal.com.
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